I grew up believing that bravery ran in the women of my family like blood ran through my body. My grandmother has fought breast cancer not once, but twice, each time gaining more strength and determination, making me believe she was an unbreakable woman. My mom, who never contracted breast cancer but faced the same shadow head-on, had a mastectomy after learning that she carried the BRCA2 gene. Now, as their daughter and granddaughter, I live in the space between their courage and their fear, wondering what it means to inherit both.
The BRCA2 gene is a hereditary gene that affects 1 in 800 people worldwide, or roughly 0.25% of the global population. This gene is a tumor suppressor gene, helping to repair damaged DNA and prevent uncontrolled cell growth, which lowers the risk of cancer. However, when a mutation occurs in the BRCA2 gene, it malfunctions, greatly increasing the risk of developing cancers such as breast, ovarian and prostate. When that mutation occurs, that tiny modification can change everything.
This gene shaped not only our family’s health but also our hearts. My grandmother, Susan Norder, was first diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2009. She sat in the doctor’s office, hands trembling, while she analyzed the words that were coming out of the doctor’s mouth. She was in utter disbelief.
“I was confronted with my own mortality because it takes a while for it to really set in and wrap your mind around the repercussions,” my grandmother wrote to me.
Through the pain, mental discomfort, and exhaustion that this put her through, she survived and prevailed, though with her faith in God and her supportive family, who offered hope and optimism. The little kindnesses made all the difference. There are so many things about living through breast cancer, whether that is the mental strain or the physical exhaustion. My grandmother prevailed through chemotherapy and radiation, making the long trip from her rural home to Omaha, where she received treatment. She was disappointed and humbled when she lost all of her hair, including her eyelashes and eyebrows. Although the pain was strong, her hope was stronger. The challenges that were presented to her during these times helped her stay grounded and remember that the small things make a huge difference.
During the time of my grandmother’s diagnosis and treatment, my mother, Stacia Palser, was pregnant with me, carrying a new life while watching her own mother fight for hers. My mother could not help but be in awe of my grandmother’s nonstop fight and determination through chemotherapy. Her strength and positive outlook were an inspiration.
Then Covid came around, and my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer once again in March 2020. This time, it took an MRI to discover the cancer, which was a different type than the previous one. Everyone in the family was shocked at the news, knowing that this time it would be even harder through Covid. Once again, she was in a situation that forced her to fight through some of the hardest pain, but this time alone. All of the family wished that they were there while praying at home that everything would be ok and she would beat it like she did before. This mentality stuck with my grandmother, too, on entering the treatment with a sort of confidence, knowing that she beat it the first time, so what was stopping her from beating it once again? Watching her strength made me realize that courage wasn’t loud or dramatic, but it was the quiet decision that she made to keep going through the toughest times.
Knowing that my grandmother’s predicament could have been so much different if they hadn’t caught it as soon as they did, my mother knew that she had to be proactive with her health for her and her family.
“I watched my mom fight so hard, and I knew the outcome could have been different if she hadn’t caught it as early as she did and hadn’t had the great team around her that she had,” my mom said. “I knew that I needed to be vigilant and proactive to give myself the best chance of detecting any cancer early.”
She took this fear deeply to heart, and the determination that my grandmother carries inspired her. She went to the doctor’s office knowing that she could have this gene in her DNA. She had a 50/50 shot of getting the gene, but she had an expectation about what she would learn because of her previous history with skin cancer. When she got the news, she was overcome with an overwhelming mix of shock and sadness.
After strong consideration and research of not only hers but also her doctors, she knew that she had a couple of options. The two most prominent choices are that she could either go to the doctors frequently with testing and heavy monitoring, or she could take control and get a surgery that would remove her breast tissue, therefore greatly decreasing the chance of breast cancer. With multiple conversations, she decided that, for her peace of mind, the best decision for her was to get a mastectomy. The surgery brought on new fears and challenges for my mother, but looking back on my grandmother, she knew she could face anything, too.
When I learned about the BRCA2 gene that our family had, I couldn’t help but wonder about that question at the back of my mind. The question of am I next? No matter how hard I try to ignore it, there is always a fear in the back of my mind. I know that I am not only in the presence of the strongest women I’ve ever met, but they are related to me, and that is the most amazing support I could get. I can feel that strength being passed down to me, like it was passed to my grandmother and my mother before me.
For those who have family members or friends who have had or have breast cancer, or if they went through it by themselves, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is more than just another month in the year. It is a time to reflect and feel the hopefulness and the strength within oneself. It is a time to appreciate the little things in life and take nothing for granted because life could be gone so soon.
Through the amazing strength of my grandmother and mother, I have realized that strength is self-taught but is influenced by those around you, the people who better you, and the people who make you realize the good in yourself, the people who believe in you.
“I think anyone who has survived cancer or any other life-altering event has a deeper appreciation for even the most mundane or simple things in life,” my gradmother wrote me. “The sun is brighter, the grass is greener, a smile, and a few encouraging words all mean so much more. It taught me to live in the now.”
